Concerned

Dear friend,

I’ve always wished you the best of luck in anything you do. You’ve been there for me over and over and this time, like always. I’m here for you.

I have a feeling that something is wrong. You hid something from me that should have been said sooner. And I really hope that things are different.

I hope that you don’t turn back and repeat the past. It can never be the same either way. What happened then wasn’t good for you. Nor is it now.

Sincerely,
Concerned

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Song and Representation

I believe that music is an important part of the human experience. I have very specific memories associated with certain songs. They each represent something different in my life; these songs either have deep and significant meanings or have been important to me at one point or another.

  1. Agnes Obel – Riverside.
  2. Ed Sheeran – I See Fire.
  3. Joseph Attieh – Helwa.
  4. Sweedish House Mafia – Don’t You Worry Child.
  5. Tove Lo – Imaginary Friend.
  6. Sara Bareilles – King of Anything.
  7. Kelly Clarkson – People Like Us.
  8. B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams- Airplanes.
  9. Gym Class Heroes ft. Adam Levine – Stereo Hearts.
  10. Glenn Morrison – Goodbye.

A Woman’s Place

Dear Trapped in the 50’s,

I don’t remember your name, just that you were a misogynist straight out of one of those old 1950’s adds for “Better Home and Garden”. We were on our first date and got to talking, getting to know each other as new couples do. We covered all sorts of topics ranging from the future, work and school, to small talk. Just as I was starting to like you, you came swinging out of left field. “Women shouldn’t work.

Their place is in the home, cooking and taking care of the children.” I stared blankly at you, speechless and unsure of how to respond to such a thing. I took a moment to process this new information. So much of me wanted to yell at you, to explain to you how the world stopped following that archaic way of thinking decades ago. I wanted to call you sexist, misogynistic, insensitive. Instead I somehow managed to muster the strength not to. Instead, I calmly called you out on your bullshit and walked out on you.

By the way, the 1950’s called. Even they don’t want you back.

Sincerely,
That woman from the 21st century

Single Until Further Notice

Dear Person,

I’m surrounded by couples.

I’ve struggled a lot when it comes to dating over the years. In the past I hadn’t really considered myself to be picky… But now, I feel like people are just… so frustrating. Why is it so fucking hard to find someone I am attracted to or rather grow attracted to, and can have an intellectual conversation with? Is that too much to ask?

I’ve met a variety of people. Some were more challenging than others. I’ve met absolute assholes, ‘nice guys’ who think I owe them something, and guys I just don’t click with.

Am I missing something? Is it the city I live in? The people I surround myself with? Am I in the wrong or am I the one who just isn’t fitting in? Am I un-datable? Am I over-thinking this (probably)?

I just don’t really know. It wasn’t until I came across this one article on my timeline a while back that reminded me that sometimes dating in the modern world really makes me want to punch myself in the face. So please:

Stop asking my why I’m single.
Stop asking me when I’m going to get married.
Stop asking me if there’s someone special in my life.
Just stop asking.

Sincerely,
Single Until Further Notice

My Favorite Things

What always makes me feel better?

Well isn’t that a loaded question. Sort of – Not really. There are a lot of things that make me feel better; it depends on the situation and what I feel like doing at the time. For instance, sometimes I clean to de-stress so that makes me feel better. Doing my makeup is therapeutic, so is drawing and painting and writing, and jogging. Sometimes I take naps, just cause. These are just a few of my favorite things.

*Insert Appropriate Sound of Music Reference Here*

I had to. #sorrynotsorry

Just so you know, I hummed the tune of this song the entire time I was editing these lyrics.  Mind you, The Sound of Music is also one of my favorite movies…
So here you are: mostly re-written lyrics (it was a lot harder than I thought it would be).

Chocolate on cheesecake
And Makeup and brushes
Bright colored dresses and warm tender touches
Soaring up high like a bird with wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Good shows on Netflix and hiking on mountains
Perfume and glitter
And wishes in fountains
Books on the shelves and playing on swings
These are a few of my favorite things

Swimming in oceans on hot summer days
Hunting for treasure and driving down highways
Indulging in food and glamorous rings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When a bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

Chocolate on cheesecake and makeup and brushes
Bright colored dresses and warm tender touches
Soaring up high like a bird with wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Good shows on Netflix and hiking on mountains
Perfume and glitter and wishes in fountains
Books on the shelves and playing on swings
These are a few of my favorite things

Swimming in oceans on hot summer days
Hunting for treasure and driving down highways
Indulging in food and glamorous rings
These are a few of my favorite things

 

Escape Room

What would happen if you were locked in a room with your greatest fear?

The answer seems relatively simple; keep your distance from said fear and find a way to get the heck out of there. Sometimes it’s not that easy. Our fears aren’t always physical. Sometimes our fears cloud our judgement; and sometimes, our fears are so visceral that they take over us completely.

So, what am I afraid of?

I find questions about love, fear, death and life quite difficult to answer. Death has always been difficult for me. I’ve lost a few people I’ve loved over the years but I was always too young to understand what it really meant. I’ve never been properly equipped to deal with it.

Nor do I think I’m capable of dealing with it now.

When someone I know has a family member or friend that passed away, I do this thing where I try not to let it get to me. I feel like all I can do is offer a hug and my condolences without really understanding what the death of this person meant to them. I tell them that they are in a better place, that they’re happier in heaven, that I’ll say a prayer for them that… I understand how they must feel.

But I don’t.

I’m not afraid to die.
I’m afraid to love.

I’m afraid to lose someone I love.

It gets Better

“Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at the reins.”

Dear Pre-teen self,

I know you’re feeling miserable right now. I know that those girls are talking about you behind your back. I know that it’s painful when they whisper, when they judge you, when they pretend to be nice to your face but stab you in the back when you turn around.

And I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that I can’t stick up for you; I’m sorry that you’ve been hurting so, so much. I know that my apologizing to you isn’t going to change how things are now, but I can tell you how things will be later. Trust me when I tell you that it gets easier.

There are people that you know or will meet people in this world that will love you for who you are. They will adore you and love you just for being you (quirks and all). One day you will see it. You will wake up feeling as awesome as you really are and everyone will see that.

You will glow with confidence.

And people will envy you for it. So don’t let those around you affect who you are and what you want to be. With time, you will grow to love yourself, to ignore those mean and hateful comments; you will grow to be a strong, independent, and beautiful woman.

Just wait.

Sincerely,
Older You