Addicted

My not so strange addiction: Coffee – Does it come in an IV bag?

So…I may or may not be addicted to caffeine – coffee actually. Umm…I wouldn’t necessarily call it an addiction either, but a dependence on the substance (oh look I rhymed without even trying). Yes, yes, I know they’re essentially the same thing (same shit different pile… yada, yada. I get it.).

My addiction worsened during school and it seems to have drawn out now that I am no longer on campus. I sometimes drink between three to five cups of coffee (sometimes tea) a day. And as expected I’ve hit this perpetual cycle of dependence and over indulgence.

I drink it when I’m sad, tired, angry, annoyed and need to relax. I drink it for it’s flavor and as a refresher. Turkish, Espresso, Cappuccino, Latte, Americano, Regular – Iced or hot doesn’t matter. Francise coffee like Starbucks, Bridgehead, Tim Hortons or homemade, cold brew… shall I go on?

Coffee is coffee.
And coffee is so fucking good.

Before I drink coffee, I get withdrawal headaches. So I drink coffee for the purpose of ‘waking my brain up’; and added bonus is the headaches tend to go away. Then I have a second for ‘taste’, then a third because I’m ‘craving it’ after a few hours. All of this is followed by a caffeine headache – which is probably just dehydration.

See where I’m going with this?

Essentially I’m stuck in this cycle and I can’t seem to get out. I’ve done the ‘no caffeine week’ challenge where I replaced all caffeinated beverages with herbal teas and water. That sort of worked….but you know, once the week was over, it was back to square one. Maybe I’ll do it again and let you know how that goes.

Do you have any not so strange addictions?

 

Reading Challenge

Every year, I set myself a goal for how many books I’d like to read in a year. The number for this year was a lot smaller than most mainly due to the fact that I was working on my research project – which is thankfully almost done. By the end of the month, I will have a lot more time to read things for pleasure rather than academic purposes.

Here are a few books that I hope to complete by December 31st.

  1. Neil Pasricha, The Book of Awesome
  2. Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
  3. Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me?
  4. Jim Butcher, The Dresden Files: Grave Peril 03
  5. J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone
  6. Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
  7. Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Le Petit Prince
  8. Chris Nihmey, Two Sides To The Story

Quick Blog Update

Hello lovelies,

I just wanted to fill you in on some blog updates. I am done with my thirty-one day beginner blog challenge. I had a lot of fun writing each post, some a little more than others but that’s pretty normal I guess. You can probably guess which posts were more forced than others…  Anyways! Writing used to feel like a chore when I was in school. I had no motivation to do anything outside of school work. Now that I am almost done, and have more free time to write about the things I want to write about. I’m more motivated and frankly, it’s a lot more fun.  I am looking for new, inspirational, and exciting challenges to try. I’d also love it if you gave me ideas, and prompts that you’d like to see me attempts. I’m open to just about any suggestion.

See you around,

B

 

 

 

Quirky

#31: Weird quirk of mine.

This is kind of like the bad habits post right? But more so something I don’t mind? I don’t know… here are some of my weird quirks I guess:

  1. I like wrapping myself tightly in blanket burritos.
  2. Despite my brutal honesty in certain situations I always happen to think of something better to say hours later. I don’t know if that’s a quirk, but it happens.
  3. I turn the sound down in the car when I’m trying to park, find an address, or when it’s really dark and I can’t see well – as if it will help me focus better.
  4. I phonetically sound out certain words to help me spell them.
  5. I will notoriously listen to the same song over and over again until I get sick of it. Then claim to dislike the song later, only to listen to it over and over again.
  6. I will check my phone consistently if I’m bored or placed in a really awkward situation – hoping that something on it might rescue me.
  7. Checking my purse for my wallet and keys even when I just placed them both inside. And checking the stove before leaving the house – I don’t know if that’s a quirk or just paranoia.
  8. I sometimes bite my lip when I’m thinking – focused as fuck.
  9. I have a serious sweet tooth.
  10. I karaoke sing in the car.
  11. I really like puns – puns are funny.
  12. I can’t think of anymore.

Shit I want to do before I die

#29: Top things on my Bucket list – updated

  1. Be a leader in my field.
  2. Be a tourist in my own city.
  3. Climb a fucking tree (to the top).
  4. Create a piece of art and sell it.
  5. Dive/jump off the high dive board.
  6. Do a push-up handstand – without assistance.
  7. Do a themed run.
  8. Do more feminist-y things
  9. Drive a seadoo. 
  10. Drive a snowmobile.
  11. Dye some of my hair an unnatural color.
  12.  Eat alone at a restaurant.
  13. Fall in love.
  14. Find a new hobby
  15. Find treasure with a metal detector.
  16. Fly first class.
  17. Get my abs back.
  18. Go Bungee Jumping.
  19. Go cliff diving.
  20.  Go ‘ghost hunting’ with friends.
  21. Go on a Hot Air Balloon Ride.
  22. Go on More than one Road Trip.
  23. Go Scuba Diving.
  24.  Go Sky diving.
  25. Go to a bonfire/build one.
  26. Go to Movies by myself.
  27. Go wine tasting.
  28. Graffiti something.
  29. Have my blog recognized.
  30. Host a game night (make it 1920s themed).
  31. Knit a scarf.
  32. Learn something new and be good at it.
  33. Learn to play poker like a champ.
  34. Learn to skateboard.
  35. Master a new language.
  36. Meet Someone Famous.
  37. Paint something at Paint Nite.
  38. Party in a forest.
  39. Plant a tree.
  40. Play a game of paintball.
  41. Race a go-kart again.
  42. Read a banned book.
  43. Read a hundred books in a year.
  44. Ride a bike across the city.
  45. Ride a camel.
  46. Ride a Horse and Carriage.
  47. Ride a Zip line.
  48. Road-trip across Canada.
  49. Survive my five to six years as PhD candidate.
  50. Swim in a Pool at night filled with glow sticks.
  51. Take a self-defense class.
  52. Take a train across a country.
  53. TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language) certificate.
  54. Throw a themed party.
  55. Unplug for a week.
  56. Visit the seven wonders of the world.
  57. Walk a Suspension Bridge.
  58. White Water Rafting.
  59. Write my name on wet cement.
  60. Continue being a bad-ass queen.
  61.  

Sad or Just Angry

#28: The last time I cried

This was a difficult post for me to write. I’m a very sensitive person so I cry about a lot of things. I’ve cried about shared stories, happy endings, and heartwarming tales; I once cried because of how cute a kitten was – and it wasn’t even mine. Heck, I’ve even cried for absolutely no reason. I was just sitting there and the tears started falling.

Yesterday was different though. I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster that had no end. I had to deal with people I didn’t like, drive around the city, for unnecessary things, and then help a friend with who was having some relationship problems. Talk about emotionally draining.

Said friend came over late in the evening and was asking for advice. They had me read a letter they were writing for someone they cared about and requested my opinion. It was tough to tell them what I really thought because I was never placed in a situation like theirs. I couldn’t tell them what to say or how to say it – then it wouldn’t be their feelings and emotions, it would be mine.  Mine don’t even make sense right now.

As they were leaving, I was reminded about where I was, what I was doing, and who I wanted to be. Despite everything good that is happening in my life, I feel like I still haven’t accomplished as much as I would have liked to accomplish. Imposter syndrome hits again.

I sat there being mad at myself, pissed off that I had done nothing but write my Research Project this summer. I was pissed that I didn’t get to go out as much and enjoy some time off. I was pissed that I didn’t get to go to the places I wanted to go because I was stuck writing my Research Project, I was pissed because… life has been shit and I haven’t had enough ‘me time’.

So I broke down and cried about it. I haven’t cried like this in a long time and to be honest, it felt so good once the tears stopped streaming. I felt like a giant load had been taken off my shoulders and I was just left alone with my thoughts.

I wanted to write this post yesterday, but I just wasn’t able to put my thoughts into words. I wasn’t able to focus on how I was feeling besides being angry and sad. I feel better today though, more free and clear headed.

I promised myself to do some more self care,
and that is exactly what I am going to do.

My Favorite Things

#27: What always makes me feel better?

Well isn’t that a loaded question. Sort of – Not really. There are a lot of things that make me feel better; it depends on the situation and what I feel like doing at the time. For instance, sometimes I clean to de-stress so that makes me feel better. Doing my makeup is therapeutic, so is drawing and painting and writing, and jogging. Sometimes I take naps, just cause. These are just a few of my favorite things.

*Insert Appropriate Sound of Music Reference Here*

I had to. #sorrynotsorry

Just so you know, I hummed the tune of this song the entire time I was editing this list.  Mind you, The Sound of Music is also one of my favorite movies…
So here you are: mostly re-written lyrics (it was a lot harder than I thought it would be).

Chocolate on cheesecake
And Makeup and brushes
Bright coloured dresses and warm tender touches
Soaring up high like a bird with wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Good shows on Netflix and hiking on mountains
Perfume and glitter
And wishes in fountains
Books on the shelves and playing on swings
These are a few of my favorite things

Swimming in oceans on hot summer days
Hunting for treasure and driving down highways
Indulging in food and glamorous rings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When a bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

Chocolate on cheesecake and makeup and brushes
Bright colored dresses and warm tender touches
Soaring up high like a bird with wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Good shows on Netflix and hiking on mountains
Perfume and glitter and wishes in fountains
Books on the shelves and playing on swings
These are a few of my favorite things

Swimming in oceans on hot summer days
Hunting for treasure and driving down highways
Indulging in food and glamorous rings
These are a few of my favorite things