What would happen if you were locked in a room with your greatest fear?
The answer seems relatively simple; keep your distance from said fear and find a way to get the heck out of there. Sometimes it’s not that easy. Our fears aren’t always physical. Sometimes our fears cloud our judgement; and sometimes, our fears are so visceral that they take over us completely.
So, what am I afraid of?
I find questions about love, fear, death and life quite difficult to answer. Death has always been difficult for me. I’ve lost a few people I’ve loved over the years but I was always too young to understand what it really meant. I’ve never been properly equipped to deal with it.
Nor do I think I’m capable of dealing with it now.
When someone I know has a family member or friend that passed away, I do this thing where I try not to let it get to me. I feel like all I can do is offer a hug and my condolences without really understanding what the death of this person meant to them. I tell them that they are in a better place, that they’re happier in heaven, that I’ll say a prayer for them that… I understand how they must feel.
But I don’t.
I’m not afraid to die.
I’m afraid to love.
I’m afraid to lose someone I love.