All or Nothing

Day 11: Most Proud Moment-many days late.

This took me a long time to really think of. I didn’t know where to start or how to really express myself when it comes to being proud of someone or myself.

I was on a train leaving Rome with family when I received the email. I had found out that I was admitted into graduate school to complete my Masters. I felt so much joy and so much turmoil all at once.

I was excited to be continuing my education and pursuing my dream to teach at a college or university level. Yet in that same exact moment, I felt like I didn’t deserve to be there. The impostor syndrome started kicking in before I even began.

I was told to be proud of myself but I wasn’t and ti sat with me for while.

A few days later, I attended my uncle’s PhD. thesis defense.He had spoken a lot about his work and his research and what he hoped to achieve in the future.In many ways, he is my role model, the person who encourages me  the most, who still does.  It was not until a room full of people clapped and cheered for him when he received his doctorate that it dawned on me.

I didn’t feel proud of myself because I was too busy being proud of him.

My most proud moment is not my own, not yet. But it will be.