20 people

I met you and here’s what I have to say

  1. I like your sense of style.
  2. You come across as snob-ish sometimes.
  3. I like that you’re open to new ideas and experiences.
  4. Our conversations were both engaging and entertaining.
  5. Keep on smiling, you have a beautiful smile.
  6. You’re freken adorable!
  7. Don’t ever change.
  8. You’re weird, but I like you.
  9. We should hang out more.
  10. You were definitely the class clown, and I’m okay with that.
  11. I wish I had the change to get to know you more.
  12. Smart-ass.
  13. Those looks we shared when the class was just too much were epic.
  14. You’re smarter than you let on.
  15. You’re a cool girl and all but something about you rubbed me the wrong way.
  16. Do you have a problem with me or something?
  17. You’re quite vague.
  18. We didn’t really talk, but you seem nice.
  19. You’re sweet but sometimes you come across as naive.
  20. It was nice meeting you.
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Shit to Say

Top Ten Things to Say to Men who send You Unsolicited Dick Pics

  1. “Awe! It’s so cute; look how small it is!”
  2. Tell him “I’ve seen better” and then send him back a bigger better-looking dick pic.
  3. A simple ‘LOL’ or ‘LMAO’ or a picture of you laughing hysterically. Ridicule usually bruises the ego.
  4. Forward it to his mom.
  5. Inform him that he has two belly buttons and that you don’t get it.
  6. Tell him: “I don’t see anything what am I supposed to be looking at?”
  7. Make him panic. Reply with “OMG are you okay? If you haven’t, I really think you should call the doctor. That’s not normal.”
  8. Send him this – and see if he gets the reference. His reaction will be entertaining either way.
  9. Reply with: “For having such a tiny penis, you certainly know how to be a dick.”
  10. Ignore him. And if he asks why, turn it into a ‘boomawang’ and send him his own dick back.

WTF is Groundhog Day?

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day and it got me thinking….

For those of you who are unaware, Groundhog Day is when the groundhog (‘Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators, and Weather Prophet Extraordinary’) comes out of its hole at the end of hibernation. If the animal sees its shadow, as in, it’s sunny or whatever, it is said to predict six more weeks of cold, snow, and gloom. And if it doesn’t… warm weather ahead!

Fucking weird tradition right?

How in the ever living hell is a small, burrowing, hibernating, rodent supposed to accurately predict the weather? It doesn’t even make sense. It’s not even a really viable form of weather prediction. This tiny creature comes out of its burrow and it’s all: “Oh, my shadow, oh noo, eek!” Before going back to bed [insert eye roll here].

This random chance even of how sunny it is, is somehow able to predict how close we are to having our snow thaw, and spring begin. A fucking rodent; and maybe some clouds. (This is notably highly inaccurate and my local weather network has been scoring better since they were created, ‘cause y’know science!)

I understand that way back when, ancient humans were inclined to use animals and their instincts as a way of understanding and surviving, and a hibernating creature going back to sleep might have been seen as a warning sign of continued winter. However, this is neither ancient times, nor has it proven reliable. Unlike other unreliable things we are not doing away with this tradition.

To tell or not to tell

Shit I wish I could say to you specifically:

  1. What the fuck happened? You’ve changed a lot since we first met.
  2. I thought we were friends but I guess not.
  3. You used to be nice and fun to hang out with but now you’re kind of a penis potato (let me know if you get the reference).
  4. What crawled up your ass and died?
  5. You’re closed off, cold, and kind of rude; you’ve been like this since you got a new significant other.
  6. Does having a new s/o suddenly change who you are?
  7. Does it determine whether or not you can still be nice to people?
  8. Were you really always this person, hiding under a facade until you got a s/o?
  9. Or is this just a thing that guys like you do because you can’t be nice to other girls while you’re dating someone?
  10. What the hell did I do to deserve this bullshit from you?

Can someone explain this fuckery to me? Because I still don’t get it.

It’s okay to have a bad day

Ten Reasons why Having a Bad Day is Okay

  1. Life isn’t perfect and because karma, like life, is a bitch. They just are.
  2. Because everyone else has bad days and if they claim that they don’t they are either lying or delusional.
  3. We learn from every struggle. Because getting through tough times, learning from what happened, and striving to not repeat the past or past mistakes is how we grow as a person.
  4. Bad days allow us to empathise with other people who might be going through the same thing. (If all we had were good days we would probably just roll our eyes and call them whiney instead of considering what that other person is experiencing).
  5. Because sometimes life needs to teach us a lesson; if we’re perceptive enough we’ll get it. (Some people just never learn though coughiwishyouknewwhoyouwerecough).
  6. You can’t always be running at 100% 24/7. Sometimes the stress of life, even the little things, builds up enough that you just have a bad day. Sometimes, you feel like you’re not motivated to do much, or that you’re grouchy, or that you’re sad. And that’s okay.
  7. Everyone has bad days, and everyone’s feelings are valid. Your feelings are valid.  Relax in the way you enjoy, whether it be reading, watching television, having tea, or going on a walk. Take some time for yourself, and just allow yourself to work through the fog.
  8. Because sometimes those bad days are leading up to something truly wonderful, but we can’t see that until we reach the end.
  9. A bad day might just be a warning sign from your body, telling you that you need to slow down and have a “self-care day”. Listen to it.
  10. Because they don’t last forever.

Song And Representation pt.2

Fast Forward

I grew curious after my post last night and decided to ask my friends to find a song that describes me or is representative of me in one way or another. Here is what they had to say:

  1. Tove Lo – Cool Girl.
  2. Rachel Platten – Fight Song.
  3. Alicia Keys – Superwoman.
  4. Destiny’s Child – Independent Woman.
  5. State of Mind. – Killing Me.
  6. Smash into Pieces – Stronger.
  7.  Scandroid – A Thousand Years.
  8.  Carlos Santana – Black Magic Woman
  9. Nancy Sinatra – These Boots are Made for Walkin’.
  10. Demi Lovato – Confident.

Song and Representation

I believe that music is an important part of the human experience. I have very specific memories associated with certain songs. They each represent something different in my life; these songs either have deep and significant meanings or have been important to me at one point or another.

  1. Agnes Obel – Riverside.
  2. Ed Sheeran – I See Fire.
  3. Joseph Attieh – Helwa.
  4. Sweedish House Mafia – Don’t You Worry Child.
  5. Tove Lo – Imaginary Friend.
  6. Sara Bareilles – King of Anything.
  7. Kelly Clarkson – People Like Us.
  8. B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams- Airplanes.
  9. Gym Class Heroes ft. Adam Levine – Stereo Hearts.
  10. Glenn Morrison – Goodbye.