Life and Blog Updates – why I haven’t been blogging

It’s been a long time since my last blog post. I’ve been really struggling lately and here’s why.

I recently completed my Masters and I’m left in this state of limbo where I know what I want to do next – but I’m not a 100 percent sure about it. For instance, in November I will be taking the Teaching English as a Foreign Language seminar. I have also decided to take some French in December (to enhance my spoken language – otherwise, I’m pretty good with reading and writing).

I’ve been really hard on myself lately. Most of my friends are back to school and I’m ‘taking the year off’ or so to speak. I haven’t been able to focus on writing or reading or anything but this sense of loss and confusion.  I’ve been feeling bored and that I should be using my time wisely. But fuck it. I need the time off. I need the break I didn’t get to take over the summer, and I need to just accept that this is only a phase and that it will be worth my while in the end.

For the longest time I was looking for a word to describe how I felt. I was looking for something to describe this feeling of displacement and then I found it.

Monachpsis:  “the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach…”

A few nights ago, I was out at a bar mingling with friends and some new people when I was asked what I was doing with my life – in a causal and non offensive way of course. I answered that I had a Master’s degree, and that I worked in a pharmacy for the time being until I went back to school for my PhD. I was surprised at how easily I answered the question – without a moment of hesitation.

Then it dawned on me. I had been telling people that ‘I just completed or was done my masters’ but never that I had the degree. It put a smile on my face. It felt good to finally say it.

So. Fucking. Good.

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Reading Challenge

Every year, I set myself a goal for how many books I’d like to read in a year. The number for this year was a lot smaller than most mainly due to the fact that I was working on my research project – which is thankfully almost done. By the end of the month, I will have a lot more time to read things for pleasure rather than academic purposes.

Here are a few books that I hope to complete by December 31st.

  1. Neil Pasricha, The Book of Awesome
  2. Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
  3. Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me?
  4. Jim Butcher, The Dresden Files: Grave Peril 03
  5. J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone
  6. Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
  7. Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Le Petit Prince
  8. Chris Nihmey, Two Sides To The Story

Quick Blog Update

Hello lovelies,

I just wanted to fill you in on some blog updates. I am done with my thirty-one day beginner blog challenge. I had a lot of fun writing each post, some a little more than others but that’s pretty normal I guess. You can probably guess which posts were more forced than others…  Anyways! Writing used to feel like a chore when I was in school. I had no motivation to do anything outside of school work. Now that I am almost done, and have more free time to write about the things I want to write about. I’m more motivated and frankly, it’s a lot more fun.  I am looking for new, inspirational, and exciting challenges to try. I’d also love it if you gave me ideas, and prompts that you’d like to see me attempts. I’m open to just about any suggestion.

See you around,

B

 

 

 

New Years Resolution

A while back, someone asked me what my New Years Resolution was. I stumbled with my words for a moment before telling them that I hadn’t really thought of anything. This sat with me for a few days before I took the time to  find one of my old lists

With the energy I wasted looking it up, I realized that this ‘New Years Resolutions’ was just a ton of crap. Every year I make this unrealistic list of resolutions I expect myself to keep but never do. This year is different. This year I’m not making resolutions that need to be completed in 365 days only to give up half way through. Instead, I’m making a list of things I want to get done in my life.

I want to update this list each year and  I want to add new ideas and remove the ones that I’ve completed.

I know, I know, I’m a little late on this bandwagon. But here it is:

  1. Go on More than one Road Trip
  2. Bungee Jumping
  3. Build a Blanket Fort
  4. Have a Picnic
  5. Do more yoga
  6. Wake up/go to Bed early.
  7. Go on a Hot Air Balloon Ride
  8. Learn to play poker like a champ
  9. Swim in a Pool at night filled with glow sticks
  10. Go ‘ghost hunting’ with friends
  11. Do something out of your comfort zone
  12. Ride a bike across the city
  13. Go hiking
  14. Go to a bonfire/build one
  15. Party in a forest
  16. Travel somewhere new
  17. Travel alone
  18. Try something new
  19. Write more
  20. Read more
  21. Learn something new and be good at it.
  22. Get a tattoo
  23. Get my eyebrow/tongue pierced
  24. Try foods from different cuisines
  25. Geek out
  26. Watch classic movies
  27. Do more feminist-y things
  28. Hang out with the besties regularly
  29. Dye some of my hair an unnatural color
  30. Continue being the epic bad-ass Queen that I am.

 

Spell-it-out

Oh hi, hello there,

I welcome myself to the world of blogging and the magic that is WordPress. I don’t really know why I didn’t start this sooner… I guess I was too busy getting lost on roads that lead no where but the future. Cheesy right? Whatever. If you happen to stumble across this, I apologize in advance for any confusion that I may cause you. I have a tendency to talk a lot; a lot doesn’t always make sense either. You might get lost trying to find your way back on your own or with my help actually. You know how sometimes you go to a get-together and there’s all these people you don’t know and the little bee inside of you is like: ‘oh heck no!’ and wants to run away and the other bee inside of you is like: ‘peoples!’ and wants to talk to everyone? Yeah? I am simultaneously both of those bees. I will talk to everyone and anyone even when I don’t really want to – but that’s just me.  Well that’s enough rambling for now, it’s time to go exploring.

Kenfyoozd,

Bee