I was rummaging through the basement today looking for something in particular when I found my old pair of roller blades. Like the giant kid that I am, I put them on and was ecstatic that they still fit. Needless to say, I was ready to break those babies out.
I drove out to the bike path (because pothole city wasn’t a trip I wanted to go to), threw those bad boys on, and started skating. I was a little wobbly at first but I quickly regained my balance. I found myself enjoying the outdoors and the constant stop and go. After about twenty minutes I started to get tired. What? It’s been a while and they take getting use to… don’t judge me.
As I was heading back to my car, I was caught off balance and fell flat on my butt. I caught myself laughing because frankly, it’s pretty funny. However, my ego was a little bruised… when a freken hot guy pulls up next to me on his bicycle and asks me if I’m okay. He literally watched me fall on my butt.
And why did he have to be hot?
Anyways, I had my fun today and it’s probably something I would do again, and again until I’m too exhausted to move.
I painted today. I decided to try out a new technique involving, water, oil and a blank canvas. I never realized how much I missed painting until I got back into it. Why did I ever stop?
I almost forgot what it was like to have my hands covered in paint. Everything about it felt both nostalgic and exciting: the texture, the brushes, and the multitude of color.
I’ve always been attached to abstract work. I seldom work on anything but that. I feel like abstractness represents a part of myself that I can’t really explain to others. I feel like it speaks to how I feel, what I want, and where I’m looking all at once.
Remind me to never stop again,
Dear Big Brother,
You flew across the globe to visit and now you’re going back. Big bro – you have such a rich soul, a kind heart, and an outstanding sense of humor; I never thought saying goodbye to you would be this hard. You’ve been staying with me for a week and today was the day we had to part ways.
I did everything in my power not to cry, but I couldn’t help it. You left an impression here and I really do hope you come back one day. Why did you have to come, be your stupid awesome self, make us like you even more than we already do, and just up and leave? Why was saying goodbye, until next time, so hard? I know I am going to see you again but yet… here I am, wishing that you were still here, hanging out, cracking jokes, and complaining about my not so terrible driving.
I will never forget the times we spent together: shenanigans while playing board games, walks near the river, falling into food comas and ice cream melting everywhere. I want to say thank you though; thank you for everything you’ve done. Thank you for all the advice, the encouragement and for being my partner in crime.
Dear Amazing Followers,
Here’s why I haven’t been posting as often as usual:
- I’ve been away for a few months and the internet there was very spotty.
- I was visiting family and touring Lebanon.
- I was having an amazing time and by the end, I didn’t want leave.
- I found myself struggling to write despite the fact that I had so much to tell you about.
- I’ve been thinking about my blog and the more I think about it the more I realize that I haven’t quite found my niche yet.
- I’m all over the place and I feel like I need to focus on one thing but there’s so much I’m interested in
I have a few questions for you and I hope you can help.
- How do you deal with this kind of thing?
- What do you to focus your writing?
- Is it just me or have you experienced this before?
I’ve dated a lot of people but you were by far one of the hottest – and frankly my longest relationship. A friend and I were having coffee when we started talking about relationships. I mentioned having met you through mutual friends when she asked me what you looked like and frankly it wasn’t very difficult for me to describe; you were blessed with the genes of a Greek God.
She smiled at me with a quizzical look in her eye. “Tell me more” she said. I described you easily: deep brown eyes that you could get lost in, olive skin, a chiseled jaw and abs of fucking steel. You wore yourself well and had a smile that could absolutely kill if you got too close. You shared my love for coffee, hard liquor, working out, and smart-ass remarks.
Yet, with all that beauty, there was nothing more. You were the quiet-type but not in that mysterious stoic kinda way. It was more like, ‘I have nothing to say at all past simple few word responses’. Honestly, I grew bored of you quite easily. There was no real substance beyond physical attraction and our relationship lacked the intellectual and meaningful conversations that I wanted. Maybe in a different world we could have dated longer.
After a while, our schedules conflicted; we didn’t have time to make it work. But, I’m glad we ended on good terms. I’m glad that we went our separate ways mutually. And for what it’s worth, I hope you’re happy in your life, with whatever you are doing and whoever you are with.
The Girl Next Door
The other day my cousins decided to take me for a motorcycle ride that was so beautifully breathtaking that I was left at a loss for words. We drove out for over an hour and a half before reaching our destination.
We stopped at a small landing near Sannine, Lebanon. I found myself surrounded by mountains. I was in awe at the beauty around me.
We picked what could be classified as the nicest day of the not so cold winter season. It was over twenty degrees celsius, the air was cool and crisp. The sun was shining bright, beating down on our faces just enough to keep us warm but not enough to overheat us.
There was a small house off to the side. I felt slightly jealous, all I could do was imagine myself living there and waking up to that view each morning.
Rolling white snowy mountains.
Landscape coming to life.
A view that could speak.
What is your problem? You haven’t had anything nice to say in the longest time. You’ve been nothing but negative and I don’t think I can handle you anymore. You’re mean, hurtful, and downright rude.
I thought everything was fine between us but lately all you’ve done is seriously put me in a bad mood. You always have something to complain about even if it doesn’t directly affect you. You treat me as if I don’t understand anything; as if I’m a fucking idiot for you to talk down at me.
You’re not always right. No matter how hard you believe it. I, like other people have the right to have my own opinions. So stop acting like you know everything and let me fucking breathe.I tried reasoning with you, I tried talking to you calmly, but all you did was get angry.
Apparently having a conversation is not an option with you. Apparently I’m supposed to shut the fuck up and not say a word to you. Apparently I’m not allowed to be an individual when speaking to you. Apparently I have to be like everyone else who sits quietly and listens to what YOU have to say.
I didn’t know your word was law.
Shutting the fuck up.