#18 What am I afraid of?
I tend to take my time when it comes to answering questions like these.
In a few words, I find questions about love, fear, death and life quite difficult to answer.
Death has always been difficult for me. I’ve a few people I’ve loved over the years but I was always too young to understand what it really meant. I’ve never been properly equipped to deal with it. Nor do I think I’m capable of dealing with it now.
When someone I know has a family member or friend that passed away, I do this thing where I try not to let it get to me. I feel like this blob who’s just there to offer a hug and my condolences without really understanding what the death of this person means to them. I tell them that they are in a better place, that they’re happier in heaven, that I’ll say a prayer for them that… I understand how they must feel.
But I don’t.
I’m not afraid to die.
I’m afraid to love.
I’m afraid to lose someone I love.